


is it that hard to call me hyung?

by itzee



Series: me being sad [4]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE GORE, Descriptions of self-harm, Gen, M/M, Self-Harm, Trans Changbin, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, changbin and hyunjin are siblings, changbin is a sociopath (no but like literally), its pretty explicit, someone gets killed, they live together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:33:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25638823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itzee/pseuds/itzee
Summary: Where Changbin is trans and his brother, Hyunjin, is not even trying anymore.READ!! THE!! TAGS!!
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix
Series: me being sad [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1832647
Kudos: 22





	is it that hard to call me hyung?

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE TAGS IM BEGGING YOU

"Hyunjin?" To say that Changbin was nervous was an understatement, he was terrified, he felt like he could pass out at any moment.

"What's up?"

"Remember when I told you that I.. am not a girl, right?" He felt like he was getting sick as tears started to fall from his eyes.

"Why are you crying? And yes, of course I remember."

"W-we didn't really talk about it but, c-could you start using the he/him pronouns when talking to me? It w-would really mean a lot" Changbin was now sobbing, not even able to speak properly, he was just a mess.

After a silence (that only lasted around 10 seconds but that felt like a lifetime-long to Changbin) Hyunjin finally answered.

"Of course Binnie! I actually wanted to do that but since we didn't really talk about it, I thought it would be better to wait."

Changbin was surprised, 'really?' he thought as he started crying again, the tears being now tears of happiness.

Of course Hyunjin would do that for him, he knew the younger was the most supportive person in his life, Hyunjin was literally known for being like that to everyone, and obviously, it would be the same for his brother.. right?

Hyunjin actually tried for the first couple of weeks, he started calling Changbin 'hyung' and even tried correcting himself whenever he misgendered the oldest (which happened a lot, but Changbin told himself that at least he was trying).

That was until he fucked up for the first time.

It was when Hyunjin's boyfriend came to their house to have a 'sleepover' (that's what they said, but Changbin couldn't sleep that night because of all the loud noises coming from that room).

Felix, Hyunjin's boyfriend, was very kind and funny, but he and the oldest weren't that close, since Felix was a year younger than him and it was his brother's boyfriend, not his.

So when Hyunjin told Changbin that he explained to Felix the fact that he was trans, Changbin looked at the both of them in disbelief and went straight to his room, where he spent the whole night crying.

But his brother didn't mean any harm, right?

The second time Hyunjin fucked up, was when he called his oldest brother 'hyung', just to correct himself and call him 'noona' instead.

Changbin remembers vividly how he looked at the younger, who didn't even care and started laughing.

Changbin spent the rest of the day crying in his room.

After that, Hyunjin just kept on misgendering him, like he totally forgot what Changbin told him only a few months ago.

Changbin thought his brother just forgot at first, but when he started to do it every time he was talking to him, he just couldn't talk to the younger anymore.

So he didn't, he started talking to him only when it was absolutely necessary, and ignored the younger everytime he tried talking to him.

But when Changbin really felt betrayed was when he heard Hyunjin talking to his friends, defending a trans girl, and telling them that 'if she wants you to use these pronouns, then you shut up and do it' (those were his brother's words).

Changbin didn't cry that time, instead, he found himself, a few minutes after hearing what Hyunjin said, in the bathroom, drawing messy lines all over his wrists with one of the countless blade he had hid in the bathroom.

Changbin wasn't the one to cut a lot, always afraid to go too deep and, as much as he wanted to die, he really didn't want to die that way, in a bathroom, covered in his own blood, making his own little private pool.

But right now? He didn't care, and he couldn't care less, he was too deep in his self-destructive thoughts to even acknowledge what was happening, and only started realising when he heard a loud knock against the bathroom door.

"Changbin-noona? Is everything okay? You've been here for a while."

Changbin was going to die, if he wasn't going to die from all the blood he was losing, he was going to die from Hyunjin giving him the longest speech for the countless(th) time about how he should stop harming himself.

"I'm fine, don't worry." He wasn't fine, and his brother should worry, but at this point, Changbin wasn't sure if his little brother even cared about him anymore.

"Oh, okay, I'll leave you alone."

And that was when Changbin lost it, if this had happened just a few months before (and it has already have), Hyunjin would have opened the door with a worried look on his face, but right now, he was just going to leave him alone?

Changbin was angry, and everyone that knew Changbin just a little bit knew that when Changbin was angry, it was best to get away from him as soon as possible, but Hyunjin didn't know how the older was feeling, so he couldn't run away, and oh god he wished he did.

Changbin was so angry that he found himself slitting his brother's throat and face exactly thirteen times. He didn't even know how he got out of the bathroom, but what he did know was that his brother's face looked just, so, so pretty like that.

**Author's Note:**

> everything that's happened (except for the killing part lol) is actually some of the things that's happened between my sister and all (and no i still havent talked to her about it but i wont k word her) and yeah i guess this is just me being angry because i miss my sister from one year ago who wasn't only supportive towards people she didn't even know  
> (and yes i had to live the nightmare of hearing my sister have sex with her girlfriend pray 4 me juseyo)  
> yeah thats it goodbye (don't call the police mwah)


End file.
